Friday, April 22, 2011

Well Hey There!!

I am so sorry to keep you waiting!! As you all know I was planning a wedding, doing knee therapy, fixing up out house and lots of little things in cut me some slack on not keeping up on the posts!! LOL Okay so where do I begin??

Our house: We got hooked up from the bridal shower and have been decorating the living room, kitchen and master bedroom!! New bedding for our bed and added some candles and picture frames:) that's as far as we've gotten but looks good so far!! We finished painting the 3rd bedroom (the future nursery), the green looks so good! Hung brown curtains in the dining room and living room, it's amazing the difference hanging curtains makes! I will have to upload pictures next time to show you our projects! We are definately making this house our HOME. We are so happy here!

My knee: As you know I have a bum knee LOL I have been having lots of problems since my surgery, my knee was not healing as it was supposed to and I have not returned to work. Jimmy and I joined the gym in Feb. and I (was) go to the gym regularly and my knee was feeling so much better (still a little stiff sometimes or it would pop every once in a while but not neeeearly as bad as before going to the gym!) so I was pumped and ready to get my life back and go back to work. Until I took like 2 weeks off because of all my last minute wedding things, the death of Jimmy's grandpa, my gym buddy went out of town and I just started getting downright tired! BIIIIIIIIG mistake. I am paying the consequences now, my knee pain has returned (not often though) and I have started wearing my brace again to keep my knee from popping and locking. I am still planning on returning to work next month but at this point I feel like I'm gonna suffer:( so we'll see.

Jimmy: my hubby turned 29 this month! And on the day of his birthday we got a phone call at 2am saying his grandfather was in the hospital. We rushed to Tulare to be with him, we were there for almost 12 hours, and he was in the hospital for 3 days before we lost him. He taught Jimmy everything he knows, he was like a dad to Jimmy. His grandpa had alzheimer's and against all doctor's saying he doesn't know you or remember things, he knew Jimmy. He lit up when Jimmy was around. It was precious. It was a miracle.

Last weeks Update: Now keep in mind, it's "wedding week", Jimmy's birthday was this week, we're still finishing up last minute details for the wedding, now we're planning a funeral.....and I find out I'm pregnant. So this all hit us at once! We are quite the team, I don't know if anyone else wouldve been able to get through this and still be sane! I was able to get an appt for Tuesday after the wedding to see a new OBGYN. I was ecstatic! Finally! A baby :) Awkward timing, but for us the saying "with death comes life" was definately true! We were able to tell Grandpa before he passed that we were getting married on Saturday and that we were having a baby! He looked at me and gave me a nod. I think that means he's happy. That made me happy. On Thursday I noticed a little spotting, thought maybe it was implantation bleeding, I wasn't worried. Friday it got a little worse and I was actually bleeding (not heavily), so I called the doc and she didn't seem too worried, told me if the bleeding gets worse or the cramps get worse to call back. Saturday morning (the day of my wedding) the bleeding was pretty bad, I called the doc again and she still didn't seem too alarmed, her words "lots of women bleed in their pregnancy and some women have a period while pregnant...maybe that's what you're experiencing. but keep an eye out and call back if it gets worse." Well, I was already having a bad day with things going on with my wedding and I was stressed about that as well as worrying about my baby, so my best friend took me to a walk in clinic to get checked out for peace of mind and so I can just know what is going on. Meanwhile, it's 1 o'clock and my wedding starts in 3 hours and my girl's are at the venue setting up, vendors are showing up, im a WRECK...and all I want to do is call the whole thing off and go home! So we get my urine test results back saying i'm not pregnant. 5 days ago three home pregnancies said I was! So they want to send me somewhere else to get another test, I don't have time for this, so I just put this problem on the back burner, I've got to go get married and I'll deal with the rest tomorrow. So I had a beautiful wedding, it was better than I could've imagined, my love for Jimmy has really grown and been challenged this week, we have really grown stronger through all of this. It was a wonderful (rest of the) day. The next day we woke up and I was so at peace, feeling so much better, now I have a loving husband, awesome family, and the bestest friend anyone could ask for. I could not have gotten through that day without them. I wish all people were as considerate and caring as them. Let's just say my wedding morning could've gone a little smoother if that were the case!! :\ So Tuesday comes and my doctor's appt is at 10, i've been upset for 2 days now because I know that this appt is not going to go the way I thought it would when I called after getting that "PREGNANT". I was not feeling pregnant anymore, the symptoms were gone, my boobs weren't huge and sore, I still had the bloating though (go figure!). So I had a songogram done, tech said nothing is there. I cried so hard as if this were the first time I was finding out something was wrong. My doctor comes in shortly after and after talking for a while he tells me that after 3-4 months we can try again. There's hope, I obviously can get pregnant, so after my body heals and he orders me some blood work to check my levels and thyroid, he wants me to come back in and we're going to "get me pregnant"! It's still upsetting because I want to be pregnant now, I want my little boy (I was determined that this kid would be a boy and I would name him Mason and he would be handsome just like his daddy!) but the upside was that no baby ever grew inside of me, I never knew how far along I was, so it's not like I lost my baby, which is a little easier to deal with. My levels all came back good and my hormone level came back at 2 (not pregnant is I was probably already miscarrying when I took my test because my level dropped waaaay too quick). So my doctor says we don't have to wait 4 months now, we only have to wait 2 months! AHHH!! So needless to say, it's still a little sad, but I am so happy thinking about the idea that we are going to be planning for this baby, wanting this baby about 100x more now, my body will be ready to carry a baby, and now I won't be so picky- i'll take a boy or a girl! As long as it's healthy. Let the shopping begin!! hehehe.

So, it's about 3am and i'm supposed to be up in 4 hours to leave for MEXICO!!! But I just wanted to give an update to my followers, i'm not looking for any sympathy with my story, I am just letting it all out, letting it go, moving forward and looking forward to creating a beautiful new additional to my new little family. I know there are probably women out there who have gone through this, how did you deal? how long did you wait to try again? Were you successful the second time? Third time? I'm just looking for some insight. I hope everyone has a wonderful easter and remembers the reason for this holiday. When we get back from Mexico I will post again, with lots of pictures. I'll give you one sneak peek of me and my handsome hubby to hold you over til then! I thank you all for listening or your input. And like I said, I didn't write this for any sympathy or to tell everyone private matters of my life for them to be spread around like gossip. I hope people can relate and maybe find assurance in my story that God has a plan for everyone and when you feel like you'll never get what you want, you will. You just have to work for it. And also, if anyone has advice or success stories, i'd love to hear it!!

<3 The new Mr. and Mrs. Cotter <3

Adios!!! See you next week!! love you all (: