Tuesday, June 28, 2011

LiFe iS aBoUt To ChAnGe!

Well, like I said, life is about to change!!

We have decided to jump on the baby train. As much as we've changed our minds about this, we have decided this is what we want to do. I can't help but feel the emptiness since our miscarriage, I want so badly to be pregnant and have a baby. And he/she better stay in there this time...OR ELSE! So I had a follow up appointment yesterday morning to go over our options to help me get pregnant. As I may have said before, I do not have regular periods, which means it's hard to pinpoint ovulation days, meaning I'm relying on luck when it comes to getting pregnant! And I don't really like my odds. So my doctor wanted to get me started on medication (Provera) that jump starts a period, and after that I take a prescription(Clomid) which causes ovulation. Since my body sucks and can't do the work its self!! So basically, next to my bed I have a thermometer, a temp. chart, 3 medications and my prenatal vitamins. Sounds pretty hot, right?! Um, yeah, I don't think Jimmy thinks so! Sorry honey!

So I wanted to get pregnant before the summer is over to ensure that I won't be a fat balloon next summer--no bueno! But putting that kind of stress on myself and my already tricky situation was just setting me up for disappointment. So we're just gonna go with the flow. Well, hopefully.

So now I am back into my nursery (which is already like 80% finished! lol) and going through all the things I have bought--don't ask, I'm almost embarrassed lol you'd think I have 2 buns in the oven, one B and one G. I want to be prepared, and at cheap prices, I just can't help myself.

I don't want to get my hopes up to high, but I'm hoping this works the first time around! And I'm so excited! And nervous! And really really anxious! But I will have my best friend going through the same process at the same time (or really close). She's probably going to have it a little easier than me, because she doesn't have the same problems that I am having. But it will be fun to share this experience! How many of you can say you shared this wonderful experience with someone you're close with?!

I start my first dose on Friday, July 1st....so by the end of July I will know if it worked or not. And if not, we will try it again. My doctor wants to see me every 6 weeks until my eggo is officially preggo! So wish us luck, and for my friend! And I'll be updating more as soon as I get started on this new journey!!

That's all for now, hope everyone has a safe and fun 4th of July! My 23rd birthday is coming up on the 11th, it's the first time probably ever that I've kind of forgotten my own birthday. Lol does that come with getting older and having a more relaxed lifestyle??

 Any advice would be helpful from anyone who has been in this kind of situation! What worked for you? How many months before you got that PREGNANT in the result window of your test? And we're you in that 10% of women who have twins?? I know one woman who was! That's a frightening thought, but at the same time, it's a risk I have (and am kiiiinda willing) to take!!


Wednesday, June 1, 2011

An update on this and that...

Well, I finally returned to work last month!

And after working 2 weeks, the pain started all over again! UGH. So I was pulled out of work again until I could be seen by a doctor, so I made 2 appointments, one with my doctor here and another with a specialist in Fresno. I was able to see both doctors yesterday and SURPRISE SURPRISE, they don't really know why I'm having these troubles! SO frustrating, if they don't know and they don't know, how am I supposed to feel about that??! So basically the specialist said there's nothing he can do to relieve the pain or any troubles I'm having, he said to go to the gym (heard that before!! was really hoping that there would be a different solution than that!) and strengthen my muscles and that should help. He also told me that my body is hyper flexible (sounds hot,right?! LOL) and sometimes it's beneficial to people and sometimes (in my case) it's not. SO because I am "double jointed" and "flexible" my joints are too loose and that's a problem I might have to deal with for the rest of my life.

 Seeing any kind of positive or useful information yet? Yeah,no there wasn't.

I'm still stumped and still in pain and still on the verge of losing my job because I cannot work and my leave at Save Mart only allows me to be out for a year without losing my job....I was already out for 8 months!

So after my doctor's appointment in Fresno, we came home to see my doctor here who has been seeing me since last August and performed my surgery and basically told me before I had him excuse me to return to work that he wasn't too sure it's a good idea but if it becomes to much to come back and he will pull me back out. So here I am again, now he's scratching his head, my MRI (pre-surgery) looked good, x-rays looked good, back MRI was clean.....why the pain??! Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that my legs will tingle and fall asleep while laying down or sitting in a chair, so we thought maybe I had a pinched nerve in my back causing that,...um no. And I also have had that symptoms of restless leg syndrome.

Still haven't seen that silver lining, huh?

Anyways, back to my doctor's opinion, so he's not sure why I'm having these problems and pain. So he wants to refer me to another doctor for a second opinion, as a matter of fact he's sending me to 2 new doctors. One who is a sports medicine doctor and the other specializes in arthritis and osteoporosis. Needless to say my in-laws knew those doctors but they couldn't believe I would be seeing a doctor with that specialty. Yeah, I'm not sure either but maybe he'll have the answers I've been looking for.Because I know there has to be better answers out there than "go to the gym!" And I am going to be getting a post-op MRI of my knee to see what it looks like in there and see if there's something floating around causing the trouble and causing my knee cap to catch and lock up. Yeah, sounds wonderful doesn't it? Not so much. ):

So now I am out of work until July and my insurance was cancelled as of today so I have to wait for COBRA to pick me back up, spending $400 a month for insurance is not the business. I liked it when it was free! Seeing all these doctors, another MRI (not my favorite thing!), and just stressing and worrying about what is going to happen. I'm only 22, why am I going through this?!

But ultimately, there is a silver lining.

I am married to the most wonderful man, have 4 of the craziest and most annoying dogs ever- but i love them!!, have the greatest friends and family, starting my own business and already have fans!!, have a beautiful home, and I may be a hot mess-- but I'm still alive! And I am so thankful.

So for now we have obviously but a new baby on the back burner because my body could not handle the extra weight, It's a smart decision, but most days I don't find it fair! But for now, it's okay.

Oh, and about my business! Let me tell you a little bit about my new project. I will be redesigning baby and children's clothes! I do not make everything from scratch but I make it new and one of a kind! And will be making accessories such as headbands and beanies and items such as wipes case covers and sippy cup holders. Lots of different stuff. I plan to get started within the next 2 weeks, still waiting for some supplies to come in. I converted our front living room (which we never use) into my own craft room, it has everything I could need in here, and lots of space. And thanks to my hubby for taking me shopping the past few days to buy supplies! He thinks that makes him co-owner! hahaha! So this is where you find me now. It's my escape. It's "my" place. I love it and I cannot wait to get started with my designs!

Well, that's about enough from me. Until next time.......

On the cruise ship for our honeymoon before we headed to ENSENADA!!