Thursday, September 20, 2012

Things Change When You Have A Baby...

So from my last post I'm sure you've realized that my son is my HEART and SOUL!!
I couldn't imagine my life without him.
Actually, I have no life outside of being his Momma.
That is what this post is about....
 
 
It's funny how much life changes after you have a baby.
The people you knew before just seem like strangers. The friends you had that don't have kids don't seem to fit into your "new life". Your social life diminishes. You find yourself talking about poop and puke more than movies and gossip LOL. You don't even remember the last time you got dressed up or wore make up and did your hair!!
 
My life has changed a lot since I found out I was going to be a mother. I started thinking of my child before myself and others. I told myself that I would be the greatest Momma I knew how to be for my child. I want him to know what unconditional love feels like. And never doubt for a second that he is not everything I ever wanted!!
 
Because I chose to marry and start a family at a young age, I pretty much gave up my social life, not because I had to but because I wanted to. I enjoyed staying home with my husband and our dogs more than going to bars and drinking. I lost a lot of friends because I became "boring". Their loss. I ruined my relationship with my BEST FRIENDS over what seems now to be something so ridiculous, I wish I could change it. My loss.
After having a miscarriage on my wedding day, I ached to have another baby to replace the one I lost. We got one, a perfect little boy.
 
Since becoming a mom I have never felt so far away from my friends and family.
I have purposely let some people fall away because they were never around before my son was born so I don't believe they deserve to be around now. It kind of hurts, but it saves from questions later. I miss out on so much and the only reason I can think that I'm not being involved is because I have chosen to live my life for my son and I think some people have been turned off by that. Is that wrong? I feel like I'm doing the best for my baby by being protective of the enviornment I put him in but at the same time on the other end I feel like I'm being punished because I am not included in things anymore. I have become sick of making efforts for people who do not return the effort. I'm not sure who notices if I do or don't make an effort, but I notice, and it bothers me to purposely give up on someone because they so obviously don't care about you. I just wish my son had someone to always count on, besides my in-laws and my mom and step dad, there is no one else whom he regularly sees. I want more than that for him. I want him to have a "favorite person". I want to have a person I regularly see. It just seems to be going to opposite direction. Who knows...maybe it's just me. Just something that's been bothering me lately and I needed to get it off my chest.
 
I have just noticed how different things are after having a child and I'm wondering if other mom's went through this? Did you start feeling like it's your fault? Was it your fault? What do I do next? How do you maintain a social life and be a good parent?
 
 
I do have to admit, regardless of what I may be feeling right now, I live a fantastic life. I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful son, a cozy home, and people who love me. This was not a "whoa is me" rant, I just have been feeling a little far away lately. Thank you Lord for the life you have blessed me with.
I need to go to bed now before Mason wakes up and keeps me up all night again!!!
xoxoxo
Kendra

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Baby Baby Baby!

Well, it's been a LONG time since I have been on here!!! As many of you know, we had a beautiful baby boy! Mason Elroy Joseph Cotter was born 3 1/2 weeks early, on March 19 2012 weighing in at 6 lbs. 13 oz and 18 in long!
 
I did not have an easy pregnancy and my doctor recommended scheduling a c-section so Mason could be delivered safetly and have a better chance outside of my belly, those were not words I wanted to hear, so we scheduled the surgery for Thursday, March 22, which made me 36 weeks along. On the morning of Monday, March 19th, I started having contractions (I didn't know that's what was going on at the time! ha) so I called my doctor and they told me to come in and be checked and after an exam she told me "you're 5 cm dilated! if you're planning on getting an epidural I recommend you head to the hospital right now, I'll call them and tell them you're coming and i'll meet you there." So many emotions were going through my head, I was nervous and excited and in pain and freaking out because Jimmy was in Merced!! I was not supposed to be in labor!! I am not supposed to be delivering my baby this early!! We are not ready! I forgot my hospital bag! lol So my mother in law gave me a hug and put me in the car and drove me to the hospital. In shock I called Jimmy to tell him to come home as soon as he could, the baby was coming, I didn't want him to miss it. So we got to the hospital and the contractions reeeeaaalllyy started to kick in, what I want to know is why they ask so many questions when you're in that much pain?! lol what is the point of pre-registering when you have to go over everything all over again? I got into my room and my mother in law stepped out to call my father in law and tell him what was going on and go move the car to a no-tow parking spot and as she was coming back she ran into my mom who knew something had to be wrong when she hadn't heard from me after my appointment. I couldn't believe how fast everything was happening. I wanted Jimmy there so bad, he was on his way but so was this baby!! The doctor promised not to break my water until he got there. Around 1 o'clock (2 hours after check in) Jimmy walked through the door.
 
All my worries floated away, I felt so relieved and was ready to bring our son into the world. The doctor walked in within 10 minutes after Jimmy got there and broke my water (gross!) and that's when everything just started happening really fast. My doctor barely made it in time to deliver!! lol By 3:13 P.M., about 10 1/2 hours from when I had my first contraction, Mason was born.
 
Because he was born early and living in an unhealthy environment there was a crew from the NICU waiting nearby, which at the time I didn't realize that was what was going on, looking back now I am glad I didn't know because I would've panicked. They checked him out and gave him their stamp of approval!!!:) We had to monitor his breathing and as long as it improves before the next day then we will all be going home together. It was so unsettling to think we could possibly be leaving our boy behind. But after 2 days, we all went home!!! Our little family:)
 
So life has changed A LOT since this little guy has joined our family.
Like, A LOT A LOT.
 
He is the greatest little guy on the entire planet. No, seriously. I couldn't have asked for a better baby. Okay, some days I wish I could have a bit of peace & quiet, but for the most part he's a great baby. Sure, there are some things that we've had a hard time with, things that are out of our control, such as milk allergies and acid reflux. That's been SO much fun to deal with. Poor little guy. The acid reflux started in when he turned 6 weeks old and the milk protein allergy started when he was 2 months old, I was only able to breastfeed for 3 months before having to give up because it just wasn't working for us. But needless to say even though he doesn't get breastmilk (which is supposed to be best!) and even with all the puking this guy does......he's still GROWING!!!
 
1st month
 
2nd month
 
3rd month
 
4th month
 
5th month
 

So I obviously fast forwarded a bit, but it honestly feels like he has grown in the blink of an eye. Our little guy just turned 6 months old today, time sure has flown right by! He gets cuter every day!!!
  • He has 4 tooth buds (but no teeth yet)
  • His eyes have been a very dark blue until recently they seem to have a brownish tint to them (i hope he keeps his daddy's blue eyes!)
  • He has almost tripled his weight
  • He is now over 2 ft tall!
  • Is suuuuper ticklish and has the most ADORABLE laugh
  • He eats baby food and is now interested in what Mommy and Daddy are eating too
  • He loves his doggies
  • He has a security blanket and a favorite stuffed animal named Peso (a sea lion from the Fresno Zoo)
  • He loves Mickey Mouse Clubhouse
  • He hates being in the car seat
  • LOVES to go for walks around the neighborhood
  • He loves his Daddy but he is definitely a Momma's boy:)
  • He may not know what he's saying but he says Momma and Da (and at the right times!)
  • He knows what nom nom and baba means;) little porker! LOL
  • From the beginning he has slept almost all the way through the night (granted, we're not lucky every night)
  • He knows how to give kisses and sometimes will let you steal one;)
  • He loves his jumper.......like REALLY loves it! He is a bouncing fool!!!!
  • For the most part he can sit up on his own, sometimes he gets lazy and just falls over onto his side and rolls onto his belly
  • speaking of rolling.... he rolls EVERYWHERE!!!!!
  • he can crawl in reverse, in a circle, and from side to side.....and as of this week he has "semi" crawled forward! we give it another week or two and we'll be having to baby proof!!!
That is all I can think of right now. See, I told you he's great! ;)
 
 
There's a little bit to catch you up on my little family.....
I have another topic I'd like to talk about but that will be another entry. I wanted Mason to have his own entry.
 
I hope you enjoyed hearing his story and learning a little more about him and how he's grown
 
xoxoxo